When Passion Isn’t So Pretty

Living with passion is not always an easy thing. It’s not always rainbows, sunshine, pretty beach scenes, and frolicking through prairies. Those things are wonderful, and they do inspire me, but I wouldn’t say that they are the “face” of passion in my life.

There are times for me when passion isn’t so pretty and easy. Sometimes it is something I must struggle through and decide whether or not it’s worth the trouble. Sometimes my passion requires me to do something I don’t really want to do, or to take a step in a direction that may seem scary. See, the thing about passion is that once you open up and let it become alive again, let it awaken, it takes on a personality of its own. It will not want to be controlled. It will not obey your emotional responses and demands. This is because emotions and passion are two very different things.

To me, emotions are there for a reason. Some people write them off as problems that need to be overcome. (Men are notorious for saying, “Women! They are so emotional!” and implying that it is a bad thing.) Emotions communicate to you what you are feeling deep within. When you allow yourself to feel these things, embrace them, and explore the reason for them, you become a force to be reckoned with.

Passion, on the other hand, is more than mere emotion. It is the willingness to do something about the things that move you. It is what drives you to take action. Even though passion will not always fit neatly into your emotional idea of reality, the two must work hand in hand. An emotionless person is a passionless person. However, an emotional person is not necessarily a passionate person.

So, back to the not-so-pretty side of passion. When something in me rises up and refuses to settle for anything less than a happy, purposeful existence, I find that my passion drives me to do something about it. A lot of times this causes a struggle within myself, and I feel like a dual person, one side of me fighting against the other. This can cause feelings of being disconnected and misunderstood. It’s only when I figure out what action I should take, and take it no matter how scary, that this is resolved in me.

I have found that even when passion feels like it’s grinding against me and causing me to do something scary or uncertain, I’m always thankful in the end that I listened to my heart and followed it. It is always worth it. So even when I’m not horseback riding through the country with my hair flowing in the wind, I still feel inspired and passionate. And that, to me, is the key.

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~ by dinahwallace on March 3, 2010.